Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Envy Makes Me Do Crazy Things


I suppose it began when my friend Peggy announced she was going to a lovely Pacific island for a couple of weeks. She started posting these gorgeous pictures of palm trees and sand and water - warm, swimmable water. And there was blue sky and sunlight. We don't have much of any of those things here right now.

Then my friend Patricia bid me farewell as she prepared to jet off to Paris and Positano with her family for spring break. She was uncharacteristically cruel when she told me excitedly that "it's about 75 degrees in Paris right now, can you believe it?" I had consoled myself with the thought that although Paris is absolutely fabulous, it would be grey and chilly. A few days ago, I glanced at the temperature when I got up, and it was 38. Gah!

My lovely neighbor Jenn and a gaggle of choir kids and chaperones have spent the past week in New York City, continuously posting photo after photo of themselves in iconic spots: atop the Empire State Building, in Times Square, at the Natural History Museum.

I grew quite out of sorts. I told my family how jealous I felt.

Yet my son could not understand my discontent. "You've been to all those places, Mom. What's the big deal?"

Those of you who know me understand that I suffer from CTD (Compulsive Travel Disorder). If I am not somewhere else, I am sad. I love to plan trips, and to go on trips. When I am on trips, I think about new trips.

I snapped. If I could not actually travel, I could virtually travel. So I have been posting photos of places on my Facebook, pretending I am on spring break. I use clever language to provide hints that all is not real: "This spring break is simply unbelievable! Love Neuschwanstein" "Our fantastic spring break trip continues at the Tower of Pisa!" "It is incredible to think we are here at the pyramids." The only problem is that people are taking me seriously. They are commenting sincerely, wishing me a great trip, expressing envy at my good fortune. I am a fraud, but I cannot stop.

Today, I posted this.
I wrote this caption: Last day of our unbelievable spring break has been a little disappointing. As my husband pointed out, the place just has no atmosphere.


8 comments:

Rachel said...

I've been loving your "spring break" travel photos. Besides, virtual travel is so much more relaxing than being cramped on a smelly airplane with screaming children and drunk college kids. Believe me!

lisleman said...

I might just need to steal that idea - great one.

mommapolitico said...

Love it - nice pun! My compliments to the hubby on that one. Our break has consisted of my daughter prepping her science fair project, us driving her to and from science fair events and chauffeuring her and her friends to locations to shoot their Honors English parody videos.

On the plus side, she did win the County's Psychological Association award at the County Science Fair last night! :)

Think I'll google a sunny locale and follow your lead! Fun post, my friend.

Stu said...

People really will be jealous this summer, except us :)

-Stu

Bee said...

This post cracked me up. Sorry that I missed all of your holiday photos . . . but I was in Texas. ;)

You will be in England FOR REAL soon! Right? Right?

Not So Simply Single said...

Hilarious!

I guess you would hate me cuz I live in Maui.

Lisa

JCK said...

Brilliant post, and I relate completely. If one more person tells me they are going to Paris, I'm going to implode!

Hope you are well.

lisleman said...

I'm sure you didn't think this post would stay the latest one for so long when you wrote it. Hope everything is fine or better than fine. I have this problem of checking old blogs at times. Hope I didn't disturb anyone.