Envy Makes Me Do Crazy Things

I suppose it began when my friend Peggy announced she was going to a lovely Pacific island for a couple of weeks. She started posting these gorgeous pictures of palm trees and sand and water - warm, swimmable water. And there was blue sky and sunlight. We don't have much of any of those things here right now.

Then my friend Patricia bid me farewell as she prepared to jet off to Paris and Positano with her family for spring break. She was uncharacteristically cruel when she told me excitedly that "it's about 75 degrees in Paris right now, can you believe it?" I had consoled myself with the thought that although Paris is absolutely fabulous, it would be grey and chilly. A few days ago, I glanced at the temperature when I got up, and it was 38. Gah!

My lovely neighbor Jenn and a gaggle of choir kids and chaperones have spent the past week in New York City, continuously posting photo after photo of themselves in iconic spots: atop the Empire State Building, in Times Square, at the Natural History Museum.

I grew quite out of sorts. I told my family how jealous I felt.

Yet my son could not understand my discontent. "You've been to all those places, Mom. What's the big deal?"

Those of you who know me understand that I suffer from CTD (Compulsive Travel Disorder). If I am not somewhere else, I am sad. I love to plan trips, and to go on trips. When I am on trips, I think about new trips.

I snapped. If I could not actually travel, I could virtually travel. So I have been posting photos of places on my Facebook, pretending I am on spring break. I use clever language to provide hints that all is not real: "This spring break is simply unbelievable! Love Neuschwanstein" "Our fantastic spring break trip continues at the Tower of Pisa!" "It is incredible to think we are here at the pyramids." The only problem is that people are taking me seriously. They are commenting sincerely, wishing me a great trip, expressing envy at my good fortune. I am a fraud, but I cannot stop.

Today, I posted this.
I wrote this caption: Last day of our unbelievable spring break has been a little disappointing. As my husband pointed out, the place just has no atmosphere.