Monday, November 30, 2009

Stupidest Final Lines Ever

So, this pic is actually from 1408, not 2012.
I haven't seen 1408, but there's
a good review at The Stone of Tear.
It does make me wonder if John is going to just be in movies with titles
consisting of four digits from now on. But I digress.
I picked this pic because it sums up how I feel about the stupidity of the final line in 2012,
as well as how I feel about my daughter's bedroom.


You know I love John Cusack, right? I'm not a huge fan of "it's the end of the world!" disaster movies, but 2012 stars my man John, so it didn't take much for the family to persuade me to go to the cinema.

The special effects were incredible. The storyline had promise. John was as cute as ever. But the script bit the big one. I knew it pretty early on.

SPOILER ALERT! You have been warned, so don't whine if you don't want to know the ending.
He plays Jackson, the father of two children, separated from their mother. An idealistic author, he spent too much time wrapped up in his writing and researching, and she felt neglected and left him. He picks the kids up for a camping trip, and expresses surprise when his estranged wife hands him a bag of Pull-Ups for their 7 year old daughter, Lily. She tells him that it's obvious he isn't very aware of what is going on with his kids....blah, blah, blah.

Okay, you just know that the Pull-Ups are going to make another appearance. You pray that they will not be a continuous presence in the film. Your prayer is answered. Other than a brief mention when Lily is going to sleep in her tent, we don't hear about the Pull-Ups again. But then, at the very end, when they've survived every kind of extreme experience you can think of - earthquakes, car crashes, explosions in the earth's crust, plane crashes, freezing in the remote mountains of China, near drowning - and they're looking out at a kinder, gentler planet that's gotten all that misbehavior out of its system, Cusack/Jackson talks to his daughter. She explains how she feels and how this has changed her.

Lily: I'm not scared. No more Pull-Ups.
Jackson: Nice.


Mother of God. Really? So what is the takeaway message here? Struggling to find a solution to night time bedwetting? Just subject your child to a cataclysmic series of events and all will be well.


The final line I'm fantasizing about these days for my own personal disaster film is:

Daring Daughter: I'm not defiant. No more disgustingly messy room.
Me: Nice.


I am at my wits' end to find a way to get Daring Daughter to clean up her act. This is not a joke, people. I have tried incentives and disincentives. I have promised her a bunch of things she would absolutely love to have if she will just clean up her stuff. I have taken away a bunch of things she loves. Nothing works. I am praying for an earthquake.

If you have any suggestions on this, I am all ears. But I'll be listening from over there, rather than here.

Because?

I am beside myself with frustration!!!

10 comments:

Barry said...

As for your daughter, you already know the solution. Just wait for 2012.

The entire universe will be cleaning up its act. Including, hopefully, your daughter's room.

Actually I enjoyed 2012 but only because I saw the movie solely for the special effects. I wasn't actually expecting a plausible story line or much in the way of character development. And my expectations were totally rewarded.

Emm said...

Uh-uh, I have no solution for messiness. Other than making her clean it twice a day before she gets to have breakfast or dinner. (I'm trying to think what it would take to make me clean up my house more often and food would certainly factor! It's why the dishes get cleaned frequently at least!)

I read the Succubus series of books by Richelle Mead and the head demon in the series has decided to look identical to John Cusack. It is quite funny.

kyooty said...

This reminds me of the time my Dad took the door off my bedroom. I may have been a bit dramatic,oh and stubborn.

The movie? I heard a review this morning on my radio, the watcher said was one of the first times he's ever LEFT a movie.

Becky said...

OMG, that is the stupidest last line AND the most idiotic product placement ever. Because you know money changed hands, but WHY WOULD THE PULL-UPS PEOPLE WANT TO BE IN THIS PARTICULAR MOVIE? Sorry for the all caps.

And speaking as the former world champion of the teenage messy room contest, I hate to tell you that nothing will work. Is there a way you can live with it? Or ignore it? Because she won't clean it up unless something makes her want to, something that is internal to herself. I dunno. It's just a thing.

phd in yogurtry said...

I think it's in the genes. And none of my three kids inherited the clean-genes. My sister's daughter? At age five, organizing the inside of her toy box. Makes her bed everyday without being told.

Couldn't one pair of those chromosomes found their way into one of my kids? Huh?

So, no ideas here, either. I keep it simple: dirty socks off the floor, dirty clothes in the big, huge hamper that is RIGHT next to the clothes on the floor, desk straightened, shoes in the closet. No electronic screens until the room passes inspection. And even that gets me nowhere, most weeks.

ColinTeacher said...

My solution is to acknowledge that I will be doing this because it is important to me, not my son. I think of this as a gift I give to him that he doesn't even realize and won't understand until much later.

Fantastic Forrest said...

Barry - 2012 can't come soon enough. But that makes me rethink getting wood floors. If it's all going to be ripped up anyway, maybe I should spend the money on traveling to beautiful places. You have inspired a future blog post. :)

Emm - the Children's Services Division might not take kindly to my starving the child. Because, trust me, she would rather starve than clean. I'll have to check out Succubus. Thanks for the tip!

Emm said...

Haha - that is probably why I have pets and not kids.

Shana said...

I have thrown things away when they were left on the floor. It was effective.

I have also *faked* throwing things away which were strewn on the floor, complete with bringing the *big can* from the kitchen (with a nice new bag in it) and making a production of stuffing shit into the garbage can.

When my son was a young'un, we actually resort to emptying out his room. Completely. Like a cell. He had a dresser full of clothes and a bed frame with mattress. Everything else was confiscated. True story.

That being said, I refuse to believe your darling is guilty of this transgression. You are obviously being dramatic as the child is near perfect.

Fiona Picklebottom said...

I finally gave up on my oldest daughter having a clean room. I make her keep her door closed. :)