In Which I Confess My Prejudice

Jane Austen is celebrating to learn that her most famous male character will be played by the best actor evah!

I am bursting at the seams to share some outstanding news with you. My brilliant son has been chosen by a pair of incredibly insightful directors to play (drumroll, please)

MR. DARCY

in Pride and Prejudice.


My stage mother instincts are in full gear. I am seriously thinking about buying a full page ad in Variety to announce this. I think the child is going to be absolutely incredible. But I am honest enough to admit that I am totally prejudiced.

Get it? Prejudiced? Ha ha ha. I am so hilarious.

I am also super proud.

On Unexpectedly Finding The Perfect Sentiments in a Hallmark© card

I don't know about you, but I agonize a bit when I need to purchase a birthday card. And not just because they have become obscenely expensive (I saw one for $7.99 at Walgreens yesterday) but because I want to make sure that it is THE PERFECT CARD.

The card that will make everyone laugh.
or
The card that will express everything that is in my heart.

The card that will let the recipient know that I am THE BEST FRIEND EVER/BEST DAUGHTER EVER/BEST SISTER EVER....
or
The card that will let the recipient know that he is THE BEST SON EVER.



I looked at a lot of cards that were very nice. I almost bought one; the message was nearly right, along the lines of how proud of him his Dad and I are.

But I kept scanning the rack for something better.

I almost didn't find it.

And then, tucked behind some envelopes, I spotted it:

FOR OUR SON
ON HIS BIRTHDAY

You know you're blessed
when you have a son
you really believe in -
when you look at him and see,
above all else,
the talent and the determination
to accomplish whatever
he puts his heart and his mind to.

That's the kind of son we have in you,
and if we could wish just one thing
for you on your birthday,
it would be this:

May you always believe in yourself
the way we believe in you.

Happy Birthday, Andrew. We know you will do great things, because you have already begun to do so.

55 Seconds of Fame

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I can share my boy's moment of glory as he opened Monday's session of the Washington State Senate. I won't tell you how many times I have played this. Let's just say it was a few. Quite a few.

Speechifying in Not-So-Secret Society

I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry. But I've been pretty busy. Super Son has decided to expand his repertoire of accomplishments by engaging in speech and debate, and I've gotten involved as a judge.

My Mom and I were on the phone tonight, and she was all excited about some sort of game with a guy named Favre. She mentioned the NFL. For me, the only NFL is the National Forensic League.

Back in the time of the dinosaurs, I was a high school debater. Some time I will dig out my old high school yearbooks to find the picture of a cocky teenaged me, leaning on a podium with one eyebrow raised in my best "why, yes, I DO know it all" expression.

Meanwhile, you'll have to just use your imagination and believe me when I say I was a debater.

A master debater.

Heh. That is a debate joke. Get it? We debaters are so risqué.

Anyhoo, Super Son attended a tournament last weekend to see what speech and debate events were all about, and the coach accepted my offer to serve as a judge. It's been a few decades since I've done it - I debated in college and often was hired as high school judge - but I felt very much at home in the setting of smart, well spoken, nervous, excited and opinionated young people. They do a slightly different type of debate than I did in the midwest. I was taught to do extensive research and debate a specific policy by examining a particular plan that served as an example of the policy area. We relied heavily upon quotes of experts and talked a mile a minute.

This area generally uses a less intense format. Lincoln-Douglas Debate is one on one and has shorter speeches and is more value-oriented. Instead of one topic for the year, they change topics every two months. Public Forum Debate topics change monthly, (characterized by National Forensic League as "ripped from newspaper headlines) and the format uses two person teams. The local high schools also offer Congress Debate - students serve as senators and speechify for or against proposed legislation.

Super Son chose the last type as his debut into this strange new world this Friday.

Meanwhile, I was once again busy judging a gazillion different events. I was impressed with how much effort the students put into their presentations. Every once in a while, there was someone who clearly stood out, or someone who choked. By and large, though, they were grouped closely in skill.

Which made it damned hard to judge.

Judges have to rank order competitors and assign speaker points to them. I tried to be as careful as possible, but it really is a subjective thing in many cases. Criterion such as "Persuasive" is an awfully personal measurement. You can easily assess someone's height as it relates to another person's with a ruler. But where is the persuasiveness tool?

Each of those young people wanted to be the best. Or maybe they were just enjoying the opportunity to participate. That was certainly the case for my boy. He didn't expect to win anything. After all, it was his first time.

He had an opportunity to compose and give a speech about a piece of legislation related to third term abortions. Heavy stuff. It's only been about a year since he even knew what an abortion is; we'd talked about it when he heard a reference on the news. He'd hoped to deliver a speech he'd written about gun control, but the Senate got bogged down in something else and they ran out of time. It was a good lesson; heavens knows the real legislatures sometimes endlessly talk about issues and don't make progress.

He's going back for more in two weeks, this time as a Public Forum debater. The topic is
Resolved: In the United States, organized political lobbying does more harm than good.

I'm eager to hear what he thinks.

The circle is now complete.

Beautiful Boy

My beautiful boy, about 5 years ago.

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait to see you to come of age.
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient,
Yes, it's a long way to go...

Fifteen years ago, after nine months and two extra weeks, a doctor put a little baby in my arms and I had an epiphany.

I had previously merely scratched the surface of love.

My son's arrival helped me understand the saying "I thought my heart would burst." Surely no mother had ever felt the way I did. It was incredible.

I get all blubbery at some movies. Not just the ones about romance and loss; the ones about a parent's love for their child always has me reaching for the tissue box. Mr. Holland's Opus is one of those films. I loved Richard Dreyfuss from the moment I saw him in The Goodbye Girl, (okay, technically, I saw him in American Graffiti and Jaws first, but he was AWESOME in TGG) and he gave a wonderful performance as Mr. Holland, a music teacher with a deaf son. Some kindly soul has put this movie on youtube, so you can watch my favorite bit. Go watch it and come back. I'll wait for you.

I love that song, Beautiful Boy. Lennon wrote it as a love song to his son with Yoko Ono, Sean. Sean was born on John's 35th birthday in 1975. John took a hiatus from his music career to stay at home with his son. In November of 1980. he came out of retirement to release Beautiful Boy as part of his Double Fantasy album. Less than a month later, John was murdered.

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans.

This summer, I plan to take my son to Strawberry Fields, the memorial to John Lennon in Central Park. He may be almost six feet tall, with an ever-deepening voice, but I'll likely still hold his hand as we cross the street. After all, it's a big city, full of crazy cab drivers! I'm just joking about the hand holding; I've no desire to be one of this sort of mother. But he might grab my hand or my daughter's just to make sure we're safe, because he is protective of me and his sister. His heart is extremely loving. He's not a mama's boy, but he is caring about other people.

We'll go to places like:

• the Natural History Museum, where I'll be reminded of his love of science and clever mind as he makes observations about the many exhibits and references things he has learned already.

• the Metropolitan Museum of Art, where he'll undoubtedly study many works carefully and get excited about several, wishing aloud that he could someday draw or paint as well, and shake his head dismissively when his father and I assure him that he is already an excellent artist. (He really is.)

• wonderful little bakeries and delis and small restaurants that serve unusual foods from around the world, which he'll try and enjoy with enthusiasm. He loves good cooking and is not afraid to try new things. He's careful not to overeat or eat unhealthy junk. My son appreciates a simple meal of bread and cheese as much as a feast of crab legs and steak. He likes his chocolate dark, his bratwurst with sauerkraut, and his escargot with garlic and butter. Regardless of what we feed him, he's appreciative.

We'll take him and his sister to a play or two, which they will enjoy immensely and talk about for weeks afterward. He will ask me if I really think he could be good enough to be a professional actor some day. Yes, I do think so. He will enter high school next year, and has registered for drama class. He has a quick wit and can dissect a scene to find just the right intonation or gesture to convey an emotion.

We'll visit Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, where he will proclaim his love for his country and gratitude that his ancestors came here. He simultaneously loves Stephen Colbert's political satire, and he also genuinely feels a deep patriotism for America. He's mindful of the nation's problems and wants to be politically involved to help lead his fellow citizens to greatness. His compassion for the underdogs in our society and rejection of greed and dishonesty convince me he'd be a fine leader.

We'll undoubtedly hear some music, even if it's not in a concert hall. The streets of big cities are filled with buskers. My children love to stop and listen, and buy the performer's CD to enjoy later, or if they don't have one, at least drop a dollar in the hat. My son will listen to someone play a piece and then despair that he will never be as good. He's been playing violin for about 7 years, and often picks out a piece just by hearing it once, without music. He can hear a song and figure it out on our piano. He plays brilliantly, yet he has a severe case of self doubt. I'd like to slip some confidence powder into his morning glass of juice. If you know where I can buy some, let me know.


In case you haven't figured it out yet, I adore this child, my firstborn, my beautiful boy.

I rarely post photos of my children on this blog because I want to give them their privacy. But I'm making an exception here to show you just how sweet my boy is. I'm sure most parents have experienced their children falling asleep at a restaurant, and think it's hilarious to take a picture to preserve the moment. This was a few years ago, after a long, wonderful day at Disneyland. Our little guy just laid his tuckered head down on the table. My husband carefully folded his cloth napkin and slipped it under our son's head, then captured the moment.

I am so proud of this boy, and so grateful to be his mother. I love him with all my heart.



Before you go to sleep
Say a little prayer
Every day in every way
It's getting better and better.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy.