I am doomed.
I should be fast asleep, but I'm sitting at my kitchen table as wide awake as can be.
It is 2:57 in the morning. After a week on the east coast, preceded by a virtually sleepless night, culminating in a post-midnight arrival at PDX, any normal person would be in bed, fast asleep.
My body had plenty of time to adjust to the three-hours-earlier time zone of the east coast. Which means that my body should have felt wiped out last night, because it was actually post-three am, body time.
And since I've only been back on the west coast since the wee hours of this morning - no, make that yesterday morning - and it is now 3:02 in the morning here, my body should be feeling it like it's 6:02 in the morning.
What is up with you, body? Even if I never took the trip, I should be sleeping because it is 3:03 in the morning. What normal person stays up this late?!
I have a couple of things on my mind I'll share and then I will try to join Professor X in sleepyland.
1. I have a bunch of cool new followers! You should check them out. There's Carla from 365 Letters, Joy from Red Silk Streams, Coyote Prime from Running 'Cause I Can't Fly, and Annie, who blogs at My Ranchburger and at the Bunny Bungalow and she's starting a new one, And So They Met. Of course, all my other lovely followers are extremely worthy as well. I'm seriously bummed out that I can't comment at many of the sites because the comment form is different than mine and I can't make it accept my comments. I feel totally stupid about this. I need to figure this out. I'm visiting and reading and enjoying but many bloggers don't know that because I can't comment.
2. One of my followers, Colonel Brandon of Nature Diary blog, has vanished. I mean, he has totally left blogland. Damn, damn, and double damn. I really loved his writing. The same person still has Brasserie Alizé, as Alexandre Fabbri, but Col. Brandon was terrific. His blog provided me with an opportunity to Austen-ify my writing when I left him comments. And BA doesn't allow comments or provide an email address. There's a cool chat feature, but I haven't hit it when anyone is there, even though I thought I understood what time chats would be.
How do you cope with it when a blog you've really enjoyed suddenly closes up shop and disappears? The feelings of loss are surprisingly strong.
Okay, enough whinging. Something fun that I'm excited about:
3. I've been asked to serve as a "Celebrity Speaker" for a film series that the local college is doing. This is a sneaky way of getting my services gratis, but that's okay. I have hopes they'll hire me in the future to teach a course again, so a freebie here and there isn't a terrible imposition. I'll be introducing two films as part of the Great Actresses of the Silver Screen series: Taming of the Shrew with Elizabeth Taylor and It Happened One Night with Claudette Colbert.
I've already started putting together a pair of little powerpoints of great photos to illustrate my talks. They're gonna be great.
I love movies. In fact, I took the family to a funny movie this evening. Well, it was actually last evening, I guess. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Or perhaps later today after I sleep.
It's now 3:51 in the morning. I really need to get to bed now.
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13 comments:
I do hate it when blogs I love disappear. It is losing a friend.
Hope your sleep cycle cycles back to west coast time.
ox
My body has a terrible time adjusting to different time zones. When I went to Europe I was a complete mess.
And about the blogs just disappearing? I had one friend who deleted his whole blog except for one post that said, "I just don't think I can do this anymore."
It scared me! I wasn't sure if he just couldn't blog anymore or just couldn't do life anymore.
Fortunately, a few weeks later, he resurfaced. And I chewed him out for being to mysterious. And unclear. And for deleting his blog.
It is totally amazing how close we become to total strangers in the blogosphere. And to answer your question ... I don't handle disappearances well, especially when they are preceded by an illness or hospital stay. It causes me no end of sleepless nights, worrying over what has happened to them. It's weird! So maybe we need the equivalent of "emergency numbers" for blogs ... someone to step in and give an update if we are no longer able to write.
Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
Professor J - You understand completely.
Lisa - me too! Right now I think I'm on Australia time for some reason.
Jason, as himself - it took us about half a week to cope with the change when we moved to Ireland. I can't imagine going to Europe for only a week-10 days. You'd never get adjusted! And, like you, I hate it when a friend pulls that sort of thing. Good for you, letting him know that frightened you.
Small Footprints - you are so right. This is a good idea. I think I will find a friend to serve as ICE for me (in case of emergency). Sadly, the blogger I and others are missing has chosen to remove himself. It seems to be a deliberate choice. What a loss.
Fantastic forrest,
Nature Diary was in itself a way for him to find beauty in a world where he didn't see it anymore, I think. For him, it didn't ever really matter if we cared or not- what mattered was whether or not he cared. I think he was trying to see if he could care about things again, but it is hard to explain how I have come to that conclusion and I've been known to be wrong about these things, but I'm usually not. My point here is that while I too miss Colonel's musings and thoughts, only he can decide to share them and I'm not entirely sure he thinks its neccessary to do so. Lets hope he decides otherwise in the near future.
Welcome home! Sorry that you feel ripped off and that you can't eat fire. Oh, and that you can't sleep.
But welcome come home, just the same : )
findingmywings - you're right, of course. I just wish the Brasserie was a broader focus. Talk about being specific!!!
Shana - thanks, woman. I've kind of been whining a bit, haven't I? You commented here just as I was commenting on your blog. Too funny.
Very interesting post Fantastic Forrest, I have left a reply to your comment about the disappearance of the Colonel over at my blog.
It is very sad to lose him, I too feel as if I have lost a friend; I enjoyed our conversations.
I do think he was hurting and Nature Diary was his way of exploring his own feelings and maybe searching for answers.
I feel sometimes it is not a good idea to delve into ones own pain and self examine our inner thoughts too deeply for more times than not, we dont find any answers.
I do wish him well and hope he finds happiness in his new persona as Alexandre Fabbris, I however would like the Colonel to come back as himself, there are no answers behind masks. ♡
Dianne - well said! My refrigerator has a quote from Edith Wharton. It reads:
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.
I couldn't find the exact source of the quote, though, just a similar passage, not nearly as pithy:
There are lots of ways of being miserable, but there's only one way of being comfortable, and that is to stop running round after happiness. If you make up your mind not to be happy there's no reason why you shouldn't have a fairly good time.
Edith Wharton, The Last Asset, 1904
Loving your account of Colonial Williamsburg. The word "simulacra" leaps inevitably to mind.
And you know, about the losing a blog thing, I'm glad you posted this, because it is like grief. Several years ago, in like 2004 when I didn't read very many blogs, I read Chez Miscarriage, a very funny blog by a woman who was anonymous, and just called herself Getup Grrl, about her struggles to have a child. She succeeded in having a baby through a surrogate, and then she quit blogging. For months and months, her page just said, "Working on the next big bloggy idea," and then nothing. I am amazed at how much I miss her. I have googled and googled and can't find that she's blogging anywhere else.
I guess I needed to get that off my chest. Welcome back!
Becky - thanks for the new word. This whole philosophical thing of Baudrillard's was completely unknown to me. I'm cramming as much as possible so that I can impress everyone I know with this newfound knowledge. My brain may explode because it is growing exponentially. So if you don't see any new posts, you'll know what happened.
You didn't spring any deep thoughts like this on Getup Grrl, did you? Could explain her disappearance.
Did you correspond with any of the other followers of Chez Miscarriage? Maybe one of them tracked her down. It is horrible to lose track of those writers who resonate with us.
While I respect people's decisions to be anonymous and go in new directions, I think once you start blogging and you've built up a following, it is incumbent upon you to forevermore produce good work to feed their souls. Am I too demanding? Yes, but I also bear a heavy burden myself. Har har har.
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