Club HASAY: I blame Vivien Leigh

As God is my witness they're not going to lick me.
I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again.
No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill,
as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

The lovely Casey, fearless leader of Club HASAY, has reminded me that it is time once again to assess how I'm doing on my fitness goals. She is a real killjoy on my quest to attain Rubenesque proportions cruel taskmistress true friend to help me in this way.

So here's the scoop:

I don't think I've mentioned that I'm a real fan of Gone With the Wind before, have I?

The film was one of the first romantic stories I'd seen in my young life. What can I say - we didn't have classics like High School Musical back then. Besides, my mother had the hots for Clark Gable.

Who can forget the memorable quotes, like

You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.

I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!

The first, of course, is that scandalous Rhett Butler, followed by quite a smooch.
The second is that little liar, Prissy. Shame on her!

And then, there's this scene:



Being exposed to such sentiments at such an impressionable young age was devastating to my efforts to look like Twiggy. I suspect Twiggy was, in fact, often hungry.

This is my way to rationalize why I've not slimmed down. It is totally Vivien Leigh's fault.

Ponder this. How does that movie end? Scarlett murmurs to herself after Rhett has left "I'll think about it tomorrow.... After all... tomorrow is another day!" Delay tactics. Yes, we're all familiar with them, aren't we? I suppose ultimately, I should blame Margaret Mitchell. She put the words in Vivien's mouth.

Sometimes I'm haunted by the futility of it all. I've had two children. Maybe it's inevitable that I should be large and lumpy. Think about Mammy's words as she tries to lace up Scarlett's corset:

Miz Scarlett, you ain't never gonna be no eighteen-and-a-half inches again!

Mammy, portrayed by actress Hattie McDaniel, was reflecting on the glory days of Scarlett's teeny tiny waist, as shown earlier:

Ack. I was going through a box of old clothes from my high school days this past weekend (they were fun things I figured my daughter would enjoy for dress up games - I really wasn't planning to wear them myself, so shut up) when I thoughtlessly put one of the skirts in front of me to see just how much I'd grown.

No, that's not me. But it's how I felt.

I console myself that at least I don't sneak food. Remember, earlier, when Scarlett was getting ready for the barbecue, she was compelled to eat in her room so she wouldn't wolf down a bunch of food in front of the menfolk:

Prissy: Mammy, here's Miss Scarlet's vittles.
Scarlett: You can take it all back to the kitchen; I won't eat a bite.
Mammy: Yes'm you is, you's gonna eat every mouthful of this.
Scarlett: No... I'm... NOT.

No, siree, I eat everything openly. Yum, yum, yum. But I need to make better choices and really exercise. So today I'll be taking the young'uns to the fitness center with me to begin a routine of regular exercise. And I'm going grocery shopping right now to pick some healthy foods.

Because as fine a lady as Hattie McDaniel was, I don't want to be as voluptuous as she was.